倉安★四★目を合わせると安心します.君と僕のBUTTERFL
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1802 偷文盗贼2007/6/3 15:23:00
Out of Line
The rules imposed on them were pretty brutal, even if they weren't as harsh as those for the Tokyo juniors. No hanging out in public places where lots of people gather. Disguise yourself in public. Don't talk to strangers. Always note that you could be watched and be on guard. Don't do anything illegal. And above anything else, never be seen with anyone of the opposite sex.
Ohkura and Yasuda's relationship slipped through all of this. There were no girls involved, and few people cared about their behavior. As long as they didn't do anything in public, there was nothing to be worried about.
It began six months after Ohkura and Yasuda started dating. The pair were practically joined at the hip. No one really minded, and their relationship didn't interfere with the groups commitments. But then something happened.
Subaru was out one Saturday night and on his way home he spotted Ohkura. That wasn't the issue. The problem was that Ohkura was with a girl. She wore a high school uniform and wore her hair in pigtails. She wore sunglasses and a scarf, and although Subaru couldn't make out her face, Ohkura's was unmistakable.
Subaru wanted to charge up to Ohkura and slap him across the face, but he managed to stop himself. He watched as Ohkura kissed her passionately, and then how Ohkura offered her his hand and followed her into a taxi. To say Subaru was furious was an understatement. He picked up his phone and it was only after he dialed Yasuda's number that he wondered how he was going to say it. He couldn't tell Yasuda. How could he? Part of him was thankful that Yasuda didn't pick up.
Subaru couldn't sleep that night, and by the time Ohkura walked into rehearsal with Yasuda the next morning, Subaru couldn't take it anymore. He purposely bumped into Ohkura, and as calmly as he could through clenched teeth told Ohkura, "We need to talk."
Ohkura blinked at him, excused himself and followed Subaru out of the room. The second they entered an empty practice studio, Subaru slammed the door and turned on Ohkura. He pushed the taller man into the wall and glared at him for a long moment. "If you hurt him," Subaru said, expression dead serious, "I'll kill you."
Ohkura had no idea what as happening. He was completely taken aback as he squirmed slightly against Subaru. "What are you talking about?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Subaru hissed. "I saw you last night! What the hell were you thinking?"
Ohkura tried to figure out what Subaru was going on about. Was it because he went out last night? Was it because Subaru recognized him? "I'm sorry. I didn't take the right precautions, and--"
Ohkura was cut off when Subaru slapped him across the face. Ohkura barely had time to respond, as Subaru's hands were dangerously close to his neck almost instantly. "If you hurt him again," Subaru said with deceptive calmness, his eyes as cold as ice. "I'll kill you." With that, he threw Ohkura down and stormed out of the room.
Ohkura held his cheek, both confused and terrified. What the hell was going on?
When Ohkura composed himself enough to return to rehearsal, Yasuda asked him what happened. Ohkura opened his mouth to answer and Subaru glared at him from across the room.
Ohkura scratched his head. "I'm not sure," Ohkura told Yasuda, truthfully.
*** - ↑↓
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1803 偷文盗贼2007/6/3 15:24:00
Murakami knew he wasn't the most observant person in the world, but it became clear to him that Subaru was angry about something. For one thing, Subaru was irritable all day, and snapped at anyone who approached him. At lunch, Ryo had handed Subaru a water bottle and Subaru had absentmindedly crushed it with his bare hands. No one had gone near him since.
Murakami sighed. He was torn between whether to help his friend or avoid Subaru's mood swings like everyone else. It wasn't until Subaru began muttering things under his breath that Murakami decided he had to do something. At the end of the day, he pulled Subaru aside and suggested they should have dinner together. Subaru glared at him in response.
Unperturbed, Murakami grabbed Subaru's hand and dragged Subaru to his place. For his part, Subaru complied, seeming somewhat thankful for the distraction, although it was clear his mind was elsewhere. They sat down on Murakami's couch playing Super Smash Brothers and it seemed to be what Subaru needed. Strings of curse words left his mouth as he beat the crap out of anything that got near his player.
Murakami laughed at first, but after about ten minutes, he turned off the system, cornered Subaru and demanded, "Tell me what's going on."
Subaru twitched.
Murakami sighed, grabbed Subaru by the shoulders and said, "Tell me before you self-detonate."
Subaru was stiff for a moment, and then met Murakami's eyes. His words were cold and angry when he said, "I saw Ohkura with a girl last night."
Murakami's grip on Subaru loosened. "There must be some mistake."
Subaru brushed Murakami's arms off. "I confronted him today and he didn't even deny it."
Murakami swallowed. "...does Yasu know?" he asked, still trying to process it.
"You saw them today." Subaru's hands were in tight fists. "There's no way he does."
Murakami buried his face in his hands. "Oh my god..."
Subaru looked around, before letting out a low sound of aggravation and punching the wall. His bare fist dented the plaster.
***
The next day was worse. All day, Subaru and Murakami sat in the corner glaring at Ohkura and Yasuda's cutesy behavior and muttering amongst themselves. No only really paid them much attention, but at the end of the day, it was Yasuda that confronted them. Looking down at the ground, he shifted nervously. "Did I do something to make you angry?" he asked, barely looking up at them under his bangs.
Subaru frowned and bit his lip. "No."
Murakami ventured to ask, "How are things between you and Ohkura?"
Yasuda brightened dramatically. "Great! It was our six month anniversary last weekend."
Subaru stiffened, his nails digging into his palms as he thought of all the different ways he could kill Ohkura with a only a bobby pin.
Murakami was thankfully much calmer. "Is that so? Congratulations!"
Yasuda beamed and after a little small talk, excused himself to leave with Ohkura.
When they were out of earshot, Murakami turned to Subaru, who was fuming. "I'll kill him," Subaru said. "I'll kill him with my bare hands."
Murakami patted Subaru on the back. He couldn't think of a good way to calm him down. Deep inside, he was just as disappointed and angry with Ohkura.
***
The next morning, Murakami arrived to find only Ohkura there. Ohkura had his eyes closed, his head bopping up and down as he tapped out a rhythm on the back of a chair.
Murakami crossed the room and took a seat next to him. "Ohkura. Can I talk to you for a moment?"
Ohkura stopped, and watched Murakami carefully. He hadn't missed that Murakami was sending him death glares now too. He unconsciously shifted away, his brow furrowed in hesitant fear, when he nodded.
Murakami took a deep breath. "Who were you with on Saturday night?"
"Didn't Subaru say he saw me?"
Murakami's own hands turned into fists. "...so it's true then?"
Ohkura raised an eyebrow. "What's true?"
But just then Maru and Yasuda entered and by the time Yasuda had bounced his way across the room to Ohkura, Murakami had made his exit.
Murakami found Subaru in the hall, and they punched the crap out of a defenseless chair in a storeroom. They didn't want to hurt Yasuda, but they both knew they had to do something.
*** - ↑↓
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1804 偷文盗贼2007/6/3 15:25:00
That evening, Yasuda lay on Ohkura's couch with his head in Ohkura's lap. Ohkura stroked his hair, but it was clear that the drummer was bothered by the way certain bandmates of his were treating him.
Yasuda sighed, and sat up. "I'm sure it's nothing," he told his boyfriend.
Ohkura looked miserable. "I don't get it," he said. "How could Subaru seeing me Saturday night make both him and Murakami want to tear me to shreds?"
Yasuda hugged him. "I know you didn't wear a hat or anything, but this is overkill." He gave Ohkura a tight squeeze and pulled away. "Why don't I make us some tea?"
Ohkura offered Yasuda a small smile. "I'd like that."
No sooner than Yasuda had disappeared around the corner into the kitchen, there was a knock at the door. Yasuda went to answer it, but Ohkura beat him to it.
"Is Yasu here?"
Yasuda peered out from the doorframe to the kitchen, and saw Murakami looking into Ohkura's empty living room.
"We really need to talk," Murakami said, voice completely serious, and Yasuda was shocked to see the usually cheery and calm Murakami push his way into the apartment. Subaru followed, looking as angry as he had all week, silently twisting his hat to kingdom come in his hands.
Yasuda wanted to run to Ohkura. He wanted to stand in front of him and demand Murakami and Subaru explain what they were doing. Just as he was about to rush into the living room, Murakami said, "We know about the girl," and Yasuda froze.
Ohkura blinked. "What?"
"I saw you two together on Saturday night," Subaru said, and Yasuda could hear that Subaru was trying to control his temper.
Yasuda turned back into the kitchen and slumped to the ground. Back against the wall, he listened out of sight to the occupants of the next room.
"Is that what this is about?" Ohkura asked.
"I saw you kiss her and get into a taxi with her! This is serious!" Subaru shouted. "What if--" Yasuda could hear Subaru take a deep breath before continuing. "What if Yasu found out?"
Yasuda covered his mouth with his hands to keep any sounds from coming out. The odd behavior. The death glares. Suddenly it all made sense.
"It's not what you think!" Ohkura protested, and Yasuda heard a slap.
"I'm disappointed in you," Murakami said harshly. "You know better than this!"
Yasuda heard struggling and peered around the corner to see Subaru holding Ohkura against the wall. "I told you!" he hissed. "I told you that if you hurt Yasu, I'd kill you!"
Yasuda has never heard Subaru say such words. He'd feel a little more touched by them if he didn't have a hundred more pressing thoughts running through his head -- mainly, the business of two of his friends threatening to kill his boyfriend.
Subaru let out a sound that could only be described as a frustrated growl. Ohkura turned his head away, expecting a blow, but after a few shaky breaths and some prodding from Murakami, Subaru let Ohkura go. "You got yourself into this," Subaru told Ohkura. "Now get yourself out. Break up with her," he ordered.
"But--" Ohkura protested, but was quickly cut off when Murakami grabbed him by the collar.
"If I see Yasu cry at all," he said, his face inches from Ohkura's, "I'll make you wish you were never born." With that, Murakami threw Ohkura roughly to the ground.
With a few final glares, Subaru and Murakami made their exit, slamming the door behind them.
After taking a moment to process what he had just heard, Yasuda emerged from the kitchen and marched up to Ohkura, a determined look in his eye.
Ohkura looked ragged, tired, and about thirty seconds away from slamming his head into a wall and passing out. He met Yasuda's gaze weakly.
Yasuda took a deep breath, and then broke down laughing.
Ohkura groaned and brought his hand to his head.
Still laughing, Yasuda sat on his knees and put an arm around Ohkura. "At least we know why they're so angry," he pointed out.
"But that doesn't change the fact they want my head on a stick."
It was then that Yasuda came up with a plan. "The outfit is still in your room, right?"
Ohkura looked at Yasuda like he was crazy, but nodded.
Yasuda rubbed his hands together with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. "Then tomorrow we're going to settle this once and for all."
***
Ohkura arrived to the studio an hour early and looked around nervously. Ohkura wasn't sure Yasuda's plan was going to work. In fact, he was very sure it would get him killed, but what choice did he have?
He took a seat on the couch, and looked up when he heard someone arrive. "Anyone around?" Yasuda asked from the doorway.
Ohkura let out a sigh of relief it wasn't someone else. "No. We're the only ones here," he answered.
"Good." Yasuda said, taking off a long black coat and resting it on the back of a chair. He turned around to face Ohkura and grinned. Ohkura automatically blushed. Yasuda was wearing the same high school uniform he had been wearing on Saturday night. The navy sailor top matched the skirt that ended mid-thigh on him. Ohkura couldn't help but stare.
He was broken from his trace when Yasuda laughed and turned towards the mirror. Yasuda was busy splitting his hair and tying it into tiny pigtails on either side of his head. "Can you get the hair extensions out of my bag?" he asked, and Ohkura went to retrieve them.
Ohkura watched Yasuda in awe. It was almost ridiculous how easily Yasuda pulled off the schoolgirl look.
When Yasuda finished with his hair, he twirled around in front of Ohkura, and grinned. "How do I look?"
Ohkura smiled. "You look wonderful," he said, and crossed the space between them to capture Yasuda's lips in a kiss. Yasuda kissed him back and Yasuda's hands found their way into Ohkura's hair, pulling his head down and deepening the kiss. Ohkura held Yasuda against him, and he almost forgot where they were.
Almost.
A loud crashing noise from the direction of the door had Ohkura breaking the kiss and looking up like a frightened animal. In the doorway stood a very angry Subaru standing next to a shocked looking Maru.
"You little fuck!" Subaru shouted, and lunged for Ohkura. Ohkura instinctively moved back, but Yasuda, his back to the door, kept him in his place.
Maru managed to somewhat restrain Subaru, who was thrashing and shouting, "I'm going to kill you with my bare hands and thirty-five bobby pins!"
Ohkura swallowed nervously, and wanted to run away. Yasuda looked up at him winked, but Ohkura still was very sure he needed to run or risk being eaten alive. He was so distracted by looking for an escape route that he almost missed it when Murakami arrived.
Murakami pushed past Maru, who was still trying to control a rabid Subaru, took one look at the situation and glared at Ohkura. "I can't believe you!" he yelled.
Ohkura looked down at Yasuda for help, but the other boy just smiled impishly.
Murakami wasn't done with him yet. "It's bad enough that you did this to Yasu, but to bring her here!" Murakami was fuming. Even after the events of the past week, Ohkura couldn't recall seeing Murakami so mad. "I can't believe you!" he shouted. "You're despicable!" And with that, he lunged forward and grabbed Ohkura by the collar.
Yasuda began to giggle, and Murakami turned his head to look at him. Taking note of Yasuda, and Yasuda's appearance, Murakami's eyes went wide and he automatically let go of Ohkura. "You!" he breathed, shocked.
Yasuda waved.
And it happened to be at this moment that Subaru finally broke free from Maru and tackled Ohkura to the ground. For a moment, Ohkura was very sure he was going to be killed, but before Subaru could land a punch, Murakami had restrained him from behind. "Subaru!"
"Let go of me!" Subaru shouted, struggling. "I'm going to kill him for doing this to Yasu!"
"Subaru!" Murakami shouted again, this time shaking Subaru as he did so. "Yasu's right over there!"
Subaru whipped his head around, expecting to see Yasuda crying in the doorway, but instead his eyes met the same pretty girl's that he had seen on Saturday night. Yasuda flashed Subaru a peace sign and Subaru screamed, "What the hell!?"
Ohkura could physically feel the anger leave Subaru and let out a sigh of relief. He was saved. Murakami and a very confused Maru helped extract Subaru from Ohkura, and Yasuda knelt down on the ground next to his boyfriend. "I told you my plan would work," Yasuda said, smiling.
Ohkura sat up. "I thought I was going to die."
Yasuda stroked the side of his face. "I wouldn't let that happen to you," he said, and leaned forward to capture Ohkura's mouth in a kiss.
When the rest of their bandmates arrived, they were greeted by the sight of Yasuda in drag trying to eat Ohkura's face, and Subaru in the fetal position on the couch mumbling to no one in particular.
They didn't think much of it, and the day continued like nothing had ever happened. - ↑↓
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1817 偷文盗贼2007/6/3 16:17:00
"Tacchon~," Yassan incorporated his beloved's name in a tune. "Let's sleep. We'll be leaving early tomorrow."
He set his bare foot on the dewy grass.
"I'm coming." Ohkura replied, but he didn't move.
"Stargazing again?" The short guy sat beside the man slacking on the meadows which was quite far from their group's hotel. "You've been doing that more frequently since the start of our tour here in Nagoya."
"It's because Nagoya has one of the loveliest views of the stars." Ohkura reasoned briefly. "Look up at them and I'm sure you'll appreciate it." He patted the space beside him, encouraging Yassan to lay beside him.
"But Tacchon... I'm already sleepy." Yassan wore a pout that he knew his lover will find hard to resist, but the guy was unfazed. He was still counting the bright heavenly bodies under his breath.
"Let's sleep, Tacchon. Please?" He tugged on the tall guy's light purple cotton shirt and shook his right shoulder, like a child who wants candy from his mother. "Oi, listen to me!" Within his persistence, he adored how tranquil Ohkura's expression was as he lay there. He smiled shortly. But still, the thought of Ohkura ignoring him was unbearable. Giving up, he let go of his hold and placed his arms across his chest. He frowned.
"Fine then. It seems like you love watching the stars more than you love me. HMPH." He was about to stand up when suddenly, the tall guy ganged up on him. They ended up sprawled on the grass, with his lover on top of him. The drummer intertwined his fingers with the guitarist's and held them tenderly on each side of his head. Yassan's heart beat loud and fast. He blushed.
"You're wrong..." He whispered, his breath caressing the shorter guy's left ear. "I was matching every star with a reason why I love you." The crisp midnight wind, their only witness, blew gently.
"And you know what? I was doing great... until I ran out of stars." - ↑↓
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1828 偷文盗贼2007/6/3 19:12:00
Ohkura always enjoyed going shopping with Yasuda. He knew he was usually the third or forth person Yasuda would call on if he needed new clothing, but he didn’t really mind. Yasuda liked shopping with Subaru because they had similar tastes and body structures, and Yasuda liked shopping with Maru because they got along the way only those two could.
But, watching Yasuda skim through the clothing racks, Ohkura almost felt like he had a girlfriend. Of course, he knew that Yasuda was a boy in every possible way. But that didn’t phase him. He’d always wanted a girlfriend, someone he could talk to while they drove to the mall, someone he could buy little trinkets for, someone he could comfort when they were sad or angry.
He couldn’t really help that Yasuda had suddenly turned into that person. And he didn’t really care. The look on Yasuda’s face when he bought him small accessories or clothing or snacks while they were out made everything else slip from Ohkura’s mind. More than anything else, he liked seeing Yasuda smile, liked hearing him say, "You shouldn’t have, Tacchon!"
Sometimes, though, Ohkura would forget Yasuda was a boy. And he’d do things like wrap his arm around his waist, brush his hair out of his eyes, hold him closer than he probably should ever hold a male friend.
But Yasuda never called him on it, and never seemed to mind. If anything, Yasuda was the type who would never realize males weren’t supposed to do that if they were just friends. Yasuda liked being comforted, and Ohkura liked touching him in ways that would let him calm down.
So it only seemed normal when the small, light touches progressed to light kisses on the cheek, holding hands as they walked where no one else could see them. Yasuda didn’t seem to think anything of it, so Ohkura decided it didn’t matter. He just liked seeing Yasuda happy, anyway.
Yasuda was Ohkura’s girlfriend, he knew it now. And Ohkura didn’t mind that. He’d always wanted a girlfriend, anyway. - ↑↓
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1861 偷文盗贼2007/6/4 20:01:00
Daybreak
It was true that Ohkura liked Yasuda in a way that was a little more than friendly. It was also true that Ohkura had no intention to ever tell Yasuda about these feelings, so he didn't think much of it when they ended up sharing a hotel room together while they were on tour. Ohkura was mature, calm and collected. He could share a hotel room with someone who was, first and foremost, one of his oldest and closest friends. After all, what was the worst that could happen?
At first, nothing did happen. Ohkura spent most of the first evening unpacking and watching a movie in Yoko and Maru's room. The second evening, he was exhausted from the days numerous practices and performances, and he was asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. But on the third night, Ohkura was awoken in the middle of the night when he heard Yasuda go to the bathroom. He was tired and in a dream-like haze, so Ohkura barely noticed when Yasuda lifted up his sheets and got into bed next to him. He was so out of it that he fell asleep without fully registering what was going on.
When Ohkura awoke the next morning, he didn't even remember anything until he rolled over to turn off the alarm clock and found himself face-to-face with a peacefully sleeping Yasuda. Ohkura was shocked, but the dream-like memory from the night before returned to him. He figured Yasuda had simply gotten into the wrong bed by accident, and got up to take a shower. When he emerged, soaking wet with a towel around his waist, Yasuda was going through his suitcase to pick out his outfit for the day. Yasuda said nothing about sleeping in Ohkura's bed, so Ohkura said nothing either, and they continued like nothing had ever happened.
And that was that, until the next morning, when Ohkura woke up and once again found himself sharing a pillow with Yasuda. Yasuda sighed happily in his sleep and shifted closer to Ohkura, unconsciously bringing their faces closer together. Ohkura blushed, pulled back, and went to take a shower. When he emerged, Yasuda was sitting on his own bed watching TV. He eyed Ohkura, but said nothing. Ohkura figured that it had to be some sort of coincidence.
But the next morning, it happened again, and this time, Yasuda was even closer to Ohkura and had a hand on Ohkura's bare chest. Ohkura knew he was blushing. He also knew that this couldn't be a coincidence. He wondered what kind of sick joke the universe was playing on him.
Yasuda sleeping in the same room he could deal with. He could even handle Yasuda sleeping in the same bed -- especially if it was an accident. But Yasuda sleeping alongside his body on purpose... Ohkura swallowed, not wanting to follow the train of thought. He had more important things to worry about and tried to focus on work. If he could only focus on work until the end of the week, maybe, just maybe, he could survive this.
When Ohkura emerged from the shower that morning, Yasuda was sitting up in his bed and smiling. Ohkura knew he was doomed.
***
That evening, Ohkura tried to keep himself awake. He wanted to be awake when Yasuda made his move. Just when he was starting to drift off to sleep, he heard the movement of blankets and the sound of delicate footsteps crossing the room. A moment later, his covers were lifted up and the mattress dipped under Yasuda's weight. Just as Yasuda made himself comfortable, Ohkura asked, "Yasu?"
Expecting Ohkura to be asleep, Yasuda jumped, but answered, "Yes?"
"You're in the wrong bed," Ohkura pointed out.
"I'm cold," Yasuda explained.
"But your bed is just as warm as mine," Ohkura reasoned.
"But you're warmer," Yasuda said and snuggled against Ohkura.
Ohkura said nothing. He was glad Yasuda couldn't see him squeeze his eyes closed at the feeling of Yasuda against his skin. He mentally cursed himself for sleeping shirtless.
After a long period of silence, Ohkura was sure Yasuda was asleep, but Yasuda asked, "Do you want me to leave?"
Ohkura took a deep breath. "No," he said and rolled over away from Yasuda. The fact he liked Yasuda was his own problem, not Yasuda's. There was no reason for Yasuda to suffer for it.
The next morning, Ohkura woke up to find his bed empty. Moments later, Yasuda came out of the bathroom with his towel around his waist and water dripping from his hair onto his shoulders and chest. This was the best and worst thing Ohkura could envision seeing first thing in the morning. When Yasuda told him the shower was free, he was more than happy to take one -- if nothing else, to get away from the nagging voice in his head for only a few minutes. - ↑↓
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1863 偷文盗贼2007/6/4 20:02:00
The next night, before bed, Ohkura stared at Yasuda sitting on his own bed across the room. Yasuda caught him watching and smiled at him. This unnerved Ohkura, and despite the fact that he knew it was a bad idea, Ohkura said, "If you're going to end up sleeping with me anyway, why are you over there?"
Yasuda laughed and crossed the room to Ohkura's bed. The bedside lamp was still on, and Ohkura marveled at the way Yasuda smiled as he snuck his way under Ohkura's covers. Once he was comfortable with his head on Ohkura's pillow, Yasuda looked at Ohkura. "Thank you," he said.
"For what?"
Yasuda snuggled up against Ohkura. "For letting me do this."
Ohkura couldn't help but notice just how close together they were and swallowed the lump in his throat. He tried to think of a way to respond and failed. He eyed the lamp and figured not being able to see Yasuda would help keep him from doing something stupid and reached over to turn it off.
Ohkura closed his eyes and told himself to sleep. He told himself that Yasuda was just his friend and that it would be good not to do anything to jeopardize that. He told himself not to think about Yasuda at all.
Yasuda shifted and rested his head against Ohkura's chest. Ohkura inhaled sharply and tensed.
Ohkura heard Yasuda sigh and he picked himself up and off of Ohkura. A moment later, Ohkura was blinded when the lamp was turned on. He squinted in annoyance, and when he opened his eyes to adjust them to the new light level, Yasuda was sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to him. Ohkura immediately knew something was wrong.
"Yasu," Ohkura asked, sitting up. "What's wrong?"
"I'm an idiot," Yasuda said, not turning around. "I've screwed up."
Ohkura wasn't sure what he was expecting Yasuda to say, but this definitely wasn't it. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Yasuda let out a short laugh. "No."
All Ohkura cared about was making Yasuda feel better, so he acted on instinct and hugged Yasuda from behind. Even though Yasuda was tense in his arms, Ohkura rested his head on Yasuda's shoulder. Before he could say anything, Yasuda had pushed his arms away and turned around. "Don't touch me," he said, and for the first time, Ohkura saw the sad expression on Yasuda's face.
Ohkura mentally reprehended himself. Yasuda was his friend. What was he doing? "I'm sorry," he said, looking away.
This seemed to surprise Yasuda. "Why are you sorry? I'm the one who screwed up. I know you don't like me that way, so I apologize for..."
At this, Ohkura turned back to look at Yasuda. "You..."
But Yasuda stood up and turned away from Ohkura. "I'm sorry," he said. "I hope we can still be friends. Just... just forget this happened and in the morning, we'll go back to normal." Yasuda turned off the lamp, and Ohkura heard him walk across the room and get into his own bed.
Ohkura found himself blinking in the dark. He wasn't sure what had just happened. He tried to replay it in his mind, but it only came in bits and pieces. However, there was one thing Ohkura was very sure of. Fueled by Yasuda's confession, Ohkura knew that there was a chance. He wondered if he should take it. Part of him told him the answer was obvious, but Ohkura knew that there were other things to consider. For the first time in weeks, he let himself think about it. He let himself dwell and wonder and hope.
He was broken from his thoughts when he heard what was unmistakably a muffled sob from across the room. Ohkura suddenly knew what he had to do.
As quietly as he could, Ohkura got out of bed and walked to Yasuda's bed. In the dark, he fumbled around for the sheets, and when he lifted them, he heard Yasuda gasp. "What are you doing?" Yasuda asked, as Ohkura got into bed with him.
"I'm cold," Ohkura said.
Yasuda protested, "But you're supposed to forget this."
Ohkura reached out, and hugged Yasuda under the covers. "What if I don't want to?"
Yasuda inhaled sharply, and then began to shake in his arms. "You can't want this," Yasuda said, his voice trembling.
Ohkura pulled Yasuda closer until he held him against his chest. "What if I say I do?" Ohkura asked.
At first, Yasuda said nothing, and Ohkura's mind raced. He wondered if he had misinterpreted Yasuda because of his feelings. He was terrified of rejection -- that he would wake up tomorrow and have to pretend it was nothing but a dream. Ohkura could feel Yasuda against him, and savored the feeling of holding Yasuda as he feared it would be the last.
The silence was finally broken when Yasuda asked, "Is this a dream?"
In response, Ohkura pulled away from Yasuda. He let his fingertips trace the sides of Yasuda's face and along the bottom edge of his mouth. Unable to see a thing, Ohkura took a chance and leaned forward to kiss Yasuda gently on the lips.
"If this is a dream," Ohkura said, shifting to resume his hold on Yasuda, "I don't ever want to wake up."
Just as Ohkura fell asleep, he felt Yasuda embrace him and heard him say, "I don't want to wake up either."
***
When Ohkura awoke the next morning, there was a fearful moment when Ohkura was sure that it all was just a dream. For that moment, he felt absolutely miserable. But the moment passed as quickly as it had begun as Ohkura recognized a familiar warmth wrapped around him. He looked at the sleeping face on his pillow and smiled.
Ohkura untangled an arm and brought it up to stroke the side of Yasuda's face. Yasuda stirred under his touch and his eyes blinked open to the morning light.
Almost immediately, Yasuda stiffened at Ohkura's presence. A look of panic crossed his features, but Ohkura could see the glimmer of hope in his eyes.
Still smiling, Ohkura said, "It's not a dream." As Yasuda's eyes went wide, Ohkura leaned in and kissed him. - ↑↓
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